Dream - A reality?

Last week I had a dream which I thought I should write about it. I was driving from office to home and I had to shift to the right most lane to take the exit to next freeway. Following a car, I changed my lane and reached the point of exit and that was when my car stuck in mud – yes there was a pit in the road with mud & water. As I needed to cross it, I hit my accelerator more so that my car would move. But the tires went deeper instead and it started immersing. I immediately called out for help, there was a near by truck driver who was looking at me helplessly.

The car was being swallowed slowly by Mother Nature and I realized that it was the end and I was going to die. Slowly the ground above closed and there was darkness and I started feeling the oxygen is decreased and my lungs started paining. It was that deep pain woke me up startled. It was a relief that I was still alive and darkness is clearing outside. Then I continued my sleep. But somehow my dream continued. I am still in darkness, as I was immersing, I started imagining that it was going to be a painful death. And I hoped that the car would descent into a lake and somehow I would escape.

Now I was dreaming that I removed the seat belt and trying to open the door which was jammed. I used my laptop to break the sun/moon roof of the car and came out. I saw a bridge pillar and I started swimming towards it. As soon as I reached it, I started crawling over the pillar. I was fully awake by the time I reached almost the surface and looking up the fast moving cars with the hope of getting some help. I started my day with a weird feeling – a combination of fear, relief and happiness.

Later when I thought about this dream, I wonder if the real dream ended as soon as I started immersing and rest were my imagination about the escape. Whether it was a whole dream or my conscious mind controlled my dream. I wouldn’t know what this implies. As they say that dreams have meaning, I don’t know what could be the reason of such a dream….weird though!!! Do you know what this dream mean???

The Roots...

When I was in school, we had an interesting (then) time pass during silent hours. Each of us would draw our family structure beginning from our grand parents. The tree would include my father’s siblings, their kids, grand kids and also for maternal relatives. Of all my friends, mine would be the one with most number of branches (well my grand parents had 6) and I was very proud of it. I am the third generation and fourth generation were of my age (yeah, my father was the youngest one and the age difference between the eldest & youngest was some 15 yrs). The family branched out and spread across countries. We were all very close knitted (my age group) and spent most of the summers together. I still remember I just wouldn’t be able to study properly for the last exam as I used to be too excited to meet my then best friends – who were my nieces.

But as we grew older, we got busy with our own lives – some got married, some gone to work, some gone for studies and it was highly impossible to meet due to various circumstances. We did occasionally meet during weddings or any other family functions (if invited). Gradually we grew apart and we had no much mutual interests. I & one of my nieces were literally inseparable then, hardly spoke with each other later. I sensed that we lost the mutual interest and itz never gonna be same again. Few were always in touch through emails from whom I was getting all the updates about the branches of my family. Till then I was not close with my mom’s niece (my cousin sister). As we grow older, we realize who is really important and who is really caring for us. It was then we three (I, my sister & my brother) became very close and I noticed we had more fun – just the three of us rather than being in any other crowd.

Well, why did I start writing this blog? Well, this is what happened on a Saturday morning, I was too bored to browse or read and suddenly I remembered this family tree play. So I thought I would draw one. I started as usual with father’s side and as I proceeded, there were many blanks to be filled as I didn’t know their names. (I am talking about 5th generation). Some I remember the names but not the faces; some I knew only the existence but neither name nor face. I wonder I would ever meet them or would they ever come to know about me. Even the ones I grew up with, how well do they know about my family – me, raaz, in-laws? There were many times I would think I should be in touch with everyone, I should call them all. But I thinking further I understood, even if I call, there won’t be anything to talk beyond 3 minutes.

Tree has expanded a lot and we almost forget that we have the same roots. Now the roots have long gone, each branch became a root and grew apart, forgetting/ignoring each others’ existence and are we still a family together?

Unbothered Memories…

They say memories fade away as life brings in new ones everyday. But there are some that you will never forget; like the first day in hostel, first interview, first flight journey, the day you met your life partner… There are some other memories which will stay for a long time though there is no significance in them. 

 The other day I was watching a movie and a character in that movie was from Poland. Someone came into my mind just as a flash. She was an elderly lady from Poland. I me her in a bus the day I attended my interview and got the job. I was so happy and I shared that with her. She said that she was 85yrs old and she came to US when she was 7 yrs old but still couldn’t fit in this country. She was talking about the changes in time and memories etc. it was a 20 min ride and turned out to be an interesting one. I still remember her face and her shrill voice.

There is another memory that was during a train journey to my native from Chennai. I didn’t book a reservation and so was traveling unreserved. There was not much crowd, there was a family with a small child. The family was visiting their native place after 4 years, it was a sudden decision and they had no time to book tickets. They were sharing their experience: how they had to elope, got married and how much they struggled and missed their parents. They were both excited and feared to face their family. I sometimes wonder what happened to them, had there were welcomed without any bitterness etc.

            Surprisingly most of such memories were during my travels only. I remember the last day of my UG, I was traveling in a bus, and the gal sitting next to me was keeping on chatting about her college life, her dreams and her boyfriend. The funny thing is we never exchanged our names but remember her voice still.

            There was another gal, my school senior; she used to resemble a then famous actress. I wanted to talk to her as she was always smiling and bubbly. Finally during the last few months we had little chats which I remember nothing. But the last thing I remember was the day she came and asked me autograph and I was completely surprised and that was the last day I spoke with her.
           

Then there was a tenant in our house who I called ‘karum Anna’. He was very poor and married twice. He brought in his second wife and she was very timid and shy, very scared even to speak with me. They lived in our house for 6 more months but I hardly spoken wit her. She was tall, dark , lean with small eyes and long hair.

           

There are lot such memories which would go on and on. How often would I recall these? Many times these come in flashes – a song, a movie scene or weather of the day would bring back these memories. And I wonder how long will I remember these , some may stay some may get away… and I always say life goes on.. gathering more & more memories