enga veetu vishesam

Miles away from home... moments away from the loving ones... a life away from life... this is what I experienced for the past one year. In spite of having a wonderful hubby and good souls around me.,I always have felt that something is missing. A void feeling which I believe that almost every one whoz staying in a foreign place will experience at least once in their stay time.

I was too excited on the day we learnt that GP was in her family way. We felt as if it was in our own family. But that very same time period, I was trying hard not to sink in the soaring economy to maintain my visa status and of course to maintain our plans to go as planned. Though I tried helping GG with some lunches & dinners, I realized nothing can be equaled than a timely help, when R pointed out what could had been done. All I could do that time was nothing but lots and lots of wishes.

In spite of the default difficulties, GG still hosted the poker parties , never missed any bday bashes or any trips. Well the days passed just like any other season. The reason for this blog – itz all started on the day we discussed about the baby shower for GP.. Gan said once, ‘the exciting part is the prep for the function rather than the function itself’. It is absolutely true in my opinion too. The guys were talking about menu & decoration and gals were talking about customs & outfits.

The mood created was the same as that of a marriage function back in home. Talking about menus, timings, guests, decorations. I felt too excited when we all gals went out for parlor or discussed about the function. Since few of our friends have moved further far from the current place, the plan of their visits, their stay everything mattered. As the day approached, GG were in full swing and I guess everyone had their own prep. As if I m in at my home waiting for attending a function over there. Generally for me wearing our traditional outfit is the uncomfortable part of any function and I always find all odd reasons to avoid it. But surprisingly this time, it was altogether a different feeling; I was so happy to wear the saree and chose my dad’s favorite color for the occasion. This was my first saree too. So added sentimental value and I m ready to wear it without complain…what should I say for this feeling?

Finally the D day came, with every one taking up their tasks, running around, decorating, dressing, teasing and enjoying. Well my day started with some usual hiccups… wearing our traditional dress in a perfect way [the nightmare & couldn’t do that too]… long live freeways… I regretted shifting our house :) - the traffic arrrr…. Though I always trusted Raj’s driving, that day it was all like Einstein’s explanation, he still was speeding at 70 mph , I felt as if I was in a bullock cart, cursing every car in front of us and the sun for being so hot :) :). When we started from GG's, the raita started spilling on my saree… oops.. My sentimentally valued [?] treasure getting spoiled. . I was kinda feeling moody because of this. Still, I didn’t want to spoil GP’s mood either, so jus let it go.

When we reached the hall, I forgot all these hurdles… and got involved in the customs, meeting frns, posing photographs.. [Yeah we had our own photographer for the function ;) ]. The mood was so festive with smiles, chit chats, PJ’s every where …. GP looked so beautiful that I realized thatz what they say ‘mom’s beauty? ‘ . I happened to stand near to her and watched each every movement in the function. The blessings, the balloons, the bangles, the flashes, the smiles… Itz been long time since I attended any such function and I realized how happy I was. Not only me but every one of us. I still missed some of my friends who couldn’t attend the function though.

The interesting part apart from the customs was the events followed after that. The best dressed man & woman awards, the bingo game etc and as usual I didn’t win any of the games… and who cares… itz all about the fun we had. There was RG’s dance, poor guy, the difficult part was to tackle the audience’ teases than the dance steps. By this time the guests started leaving with final greetings and photo sessions.

After wards was the best part I would say, rest of us chit chatting, planning for upcoming baby shower functions [yeah 2 more in the row J] oh..i felt as if I was in India. I knew I have mentioned this quite a few times in this blog but still I couldn’t resist mentioning it.

After all this, as usual the trade mark poker tournament started… and again surprisingly I found it amusing… and this time I couldn’t even stand for 2 hands… but still it was totally fun. It was late evening when the game got finished… I was thinking, the baby shower customs didn’t take that much time mmm…. We use any excuse to play poker…or as SK said any excuse to be together with friends.

By the time we cleaned the hall, had dinner and packed up..every one was damn tired. So almost end of the event! And then it was suggested to go GG’s place to unwrap the gifts. Inspite of being tired…the depressing fact that the next day being Monday, I didn’t wanna miss this. So we all went there… gifts been opened, viewed... teased…do I need to mention how much fun was it? Yeah, loads of fun. It was around midnite when we came home…tired but with all smiles. With baby due in 3 weeks, there is going to be another tide of excitement soon.

For the next few days it was extended version of the happiness by sending mails. Sharing photos… and this is it… the family… the bonding…the sharing…that is what I missed...this is what the cause of the emptiness. Suddenly I get this feeling that we are not alone. My friends here… are part of extended family. Fun …Happiness … and Peace. Nothing is missed here… and my world rolls on gathering more and more memories … to be relished ever and for ever.

PS: Before I could post this blog, GP has delivered a cute baby boy. And as I said, the tide hit us with huge un prepared surprise…

Life Style....

"Oh My God, I am feeling very tired today, can we eat outside? or can we just use frozen parataas?"... "Remind me to buy frozen mixed veg pack this time" ... these have become part of my day to day life recent days.

Was speaking to my mother the other day, she was telling about her chores of the day(it was a Sunday)... cooking, cleaning, washing...and list goes on. The same thing i am doing every weekend but still there is so much to complain about for me. I blame the food here for my extra pounds [err.. yeah kgs :D], i blame the responsibilities as my extra work here. But lying on a cozy bed, typing out this blog... makes me realize there is nothing to blame but my laziness.

Back in home town , days filled with lots of activities ... manual house hold chores played the major role... but here... life has become so sophisticated that we make use of technology for everything Initially, when i came here i seldom used dish washer, concerned about wasting resources and water bill.. Hah there i go Ms. Principle! But as days passed on, i found it comfortable just closing the dish washer door with vessels in it, there by shutting down the echoing thoughts of "conserve resources”.

Few days back, my mixer grinder stopped working... when i told this to Raj, he teased me to use stone grinder of olden days. Surprisingly my father also said the same. Though for me i felt the world has doomed. But later i thought how life had been during the days we used stone grinder, we had time for everything then ... but now as technology grows, time seems to be reduced... i find it impossible to do things at leisure. This intrigues me a lot, time is the same at any place [well, now i m not encouraging any Einstein's ideas here]i still have 24 hrs a day... nothing changed . But why do i feel that there is always some pending work? When i observed my lifestyle for the past few days, i realized how much time i m spending just doing nothing. It is not that i don't have time; i am not using it properly. Basically cozy life style that prevents me doing anything but resting... . May be life has become simpler, and why to complicate things in the name of “Traditional Way”.

Watching TV, sleeping late and waking up late. Every day no time to enjoy the morning hours... rush. go to office...work .. As soon as the clock turns 5.30 getting restless to reach home faster. Weekends, well, I would say the best part is meeting friends… and bad part is meeting them in the nights and spoiling the weekend days in sleep. Yet this is the new lifestyle and I got to adapt to it. Roman in Rome, eh!

But you know once in a while I do realize that I m not working on these but simply whining. As the effect of this awakening, I do plan any evening to do lots of so-called pending things... ironing clothes, cleaning kitchen, cooking some proper food, calling some relatives...And then once i reached home...i think aloud "oh my God i feel tired today.. Can we eat outside…

No itz not about POKER!!!!

Recent days ...of course nights, poker has become the fever of our gang... and it became a night mare to me. It all started as a for-a-change letz try something new... but itz been almost 8 months it never occurred any one to try something else new. You know what, i started this blog while every one of my friends playing poker :)

From day one, i some how never had attempted playing willfully. It was boring and Raz become fond of this lovely game. Poker became his everything then. He played poker even while eating - thanks to the windows application - long live technology :). He always says that once you start playing it will be interesting.. i did try once or twice and i could manage not in first few to be eliminated. The more i was forced to play, the more i repelled. Raz later stopped asking me to play. But i still resisted playing it. It became so obvious that all our friends stopped even to consider me as head count for any day's [i mean nights'...] poker.

I tired to find the reason for this repulsion. was it because that game requires too much of concentration? was it because u need to read people or people read you rather? I couldn't figure it out...! But Raz .. yeah itz kinda addicted... even though he used to come home very tired, he never had forgotten to register for the game of the night... never missed any tournament... the more he became addicted, the more I was annoyed. I started blaming POKER - the PEOPLE GAME for everything... every little thing... i refused even to consider anything that has traces of poker in it.

One day , Gan was asking me the reason for my hatred towards this game. I didn't even think a second about it... i said it was the cause my hubby stopped pay attention to me. It was becoz of this 'stupid' game hez not even talking with me. Gan said to HP, "these girls adamantly refuse something just becoz we guys like them". It was quite a shock to me , how come he never even considered my side. But at that time i didn't think about it much.

But recent days, this incident has been coming into my mind very often. Why he commented in that way? I personally felt the situation was in my favor. What i was trying to justify was quite clear. mmm.. boys are boys.

It is not the only incident, i have heard so many times the terms "girls are girls" . Why is it so different? They always say girls are too emotional and guys behave non-attached to the given situation. This intrigues me a lot.

I deeply believed the idea of "Guys are from Mars & Girls are from Venus" . I thought i could understand many of these conflicts better. But after marriage, i still believe in this idea with slight moderation " Guys are IN mars & Girls are from Venus". It is not just about poker, but in many other aspects, girls' decisions blend towards guys' perspective. It was so hard for me to agree with this. But as days passed, we are gonna hit our first anniversary shortly, i realized that it is better too be that way. Life is smooth when you blend!

As i began to understand this , i stopped complaining about this game. We meet every weekend to play poker and i to sleep. Some times i thought may be i should try this game... but still i wouldn't. When i think about this, i considered myself "too-much"... once AV said if you could adjust for ur frns, they would also consider your options. Yes, i realise this. These days i m thinking, may be i should consider playing this game. May be i can understand life better. :) :)

Friend & Friends Only

Quite a vast topic, i would say, to be put down into words. Been in hostel - homes away from home the relation ship in the name of friends has played a very influential role in my life path yes, why not? even this blog.
This morning, i was chatting with my friend who was my collegemate. we never had been close - but had shared a peculiar bond... we did wanted to be friends but situation didnt serve well. Through her i got to know that one of our other friends had been writing blogs and i happened to read them today. Well now, they both catalyzed the idea of writing a blog. And that is how i started this one. This speaks nothing about my best friends who were / are and will be there with me in my heart & life forever but ... well read on!!!

Few days back, i was sharpening my pencil [? well dont ask what for], suddenly i remembered one of my best friends - who was there althrough my schooling days for almost 13 years and healthy competitors when it comes to studies. She had influenced me a lot in terms of writing poems [she is the best though] and i influenced her in reading books [she never continued though ;)]. She used to be my second mind we shared and cared every aspect of our then life. Well what does it do with the pencil sharpening? Actually our friendship started with her offer to sharpen my pencil and it was in 2nd grade.

I was thinking there had been so many friends and how it all began with each relationship.. in what situation... these were the thoughts i tried to recollect and pen down.
There are many incidents crossed my mind ... there is one friend who was my classmate almost the whole schooling. When we were in kinder garten, we sat together in classes , learnt our alphabets together. We both used to wait for each other to catch up our class works... submission of note books ... it was then i learnt how good it was to care for others and cared by others. As time flew, we grew , we grew apart due to many other reasons... but still i feel the warmth of that friendship.

There were times when gangism are basis of friendship n recognition for any gal in our class. There came a new bee with revolutionary thoughts... she spoke with anyone and all. So the then acting head of our gang forbided any of us speaking with her. But i liked her, i liked her boldness and i spoke with her often by staying behind the gang , taking the next trip of the school bus so tht we could speak with each other. It was then found by the head -of -our gang and i was left out. Still i had her , and itz how the strong bond started. But later in our lives, we were parted for education and carreer, met once in a while, i could feel there was no room for that old cozy relationship any more... it was then i realised it never gonna be the same but in memories.

There are even friends whom i never had seen, yes, that is not common these days. But i knew this friend through my best friend for almost 3 years. And then one day she asked me to send a mail on her behalf. It all started am being a messenger [well, dont think otherwise, My frn doesnt like computers :)]... and it continues till now. We shared a lot and trusted each other and i still i wonder how could this be possible. We never met, but we blended so well.

There is a friendship that started in the name of ragging, she asked me many questions which were my area of interest... she being a senior, i felt i should keep a distance but always been admired her a lot. Til today, i can share any thing with her, and seek her for advice.

One particular friendship - a silent friendship - thatz what we named it. We rarely do speak with each other - i mean share with each other , we always had supported each other and shared common tastes in reading books. Till date, we do share our latest readings and lifes happenings... itz all started by a single nod of acceptance in an arugment. :) :)

We both sit together in college, he used to crack PJ's like anything... and i used to talk back once in a while. We some how shared some common interests and a very good companion of mine. One friendship that i value as there is no expectation in exchange of our friendship ever.

A friendship that started by sharing a common cubicle, common project and he.. hee common deadline. And in a peculiar way she and i share common life's happening. [err..well ofcourse she doesnt write blogs and ofcourse i m not talking about her medals :)]

Well, there are friendships that started by traveling in same bus, offering a seat in train, letting the long waited library book to be taken, sleeping in the class, teasing others , common interests, copying in class..etc. Few others... as...

...Like they say,it is not just in love there is initially fight and next love Tamil: Mothal piragu Kadhal]. It can be in friendship too. It was about this special friend whose relationship i would cherish forever in my life. Well ofcourse this blog is not about best buddies, i couldnt resist to speak about our friendship here. She was my class leader and ofcourse those who know me now could have guessed.. yeah true, my name would always be there in her list of not-obeying-the -leader. :) We often used to argue about the terms & rules... i even tried follow them but still she never trusted. But how we became friends... it happened one day i found her sitting alone in a tree shadow... looking lost and i felt this compulsion to speak with her and before i could think, i sat beside her. We never spoke for the next 10 minutes and finally she could mange a simple smile , said bye and went away. Till this day i donno the reason of that state of her mind. But then we become very close and then u know leader's pet :) . We continued our friendship through letters! She had been to a class tour and i sent her a card to her hostel so that she would see it the day she was back from the tour. The day before of her returning, i received a letter from her but cudnt read it as i was heading for my exam. Before even i could read that, i got the news of the mishap and realised that it wud be the last letter from her and my card will never be seen by her. She left me for ever...the loss of her i realised after almost a year of this mishap when she came in my dreams... it was then i cried for her... the moments i spent with her always in my heart fresh... itz how our friendship started and itz how is gonna be in my heart for ever... jus like that unread card and unknown reason.... i would cherish her friendship for ever and ever....

vatha kuzhambu - sutta aplam - aanantha vikatan

I stayed in hostel for my entire college life. There were girls who attended the college just for the sake of getting degree and gain better place in the marraige market. For me it was entirely different and i never intended to prepare myself for this MARRAIGE MARKET stuff. Neither i do know cooking nor had the idea of learning it. For me it is an action for survival. That is it. I wanted to do so much but never managed to do. I was too much immersed into my carrier and i forgot that i did have some personal space.

Raj said that i could take a break after marraige and refresh myself. Initially i thought it was not a good idea becoz i had too many ideas about working after maraige. Raj told me about friends over there in US and the activities they do. That made me to think and then i realised that one part of my mind badly longed for a break. Then i decided to give a chance.

Initially i had a doubt how would i spent a whole day MAKING HOME. But well life is somewhat stablised now. no need to get up before 8.30....no need to rush for 8.40 train...no need to send sms to binu or titty for getitng APPY. no need to copy paste the previous day's mail for status report...no text pad...no xl...no meetings...life goes on instead...jus toast some bread...and make milk shake. send Raj to office. come back sit infront of this laptop having coffee [not tht u ve to go ..stand in the queue..or .ask Prathi for getting me coffee..or .ask navi to share half cup...or wait for indira and navi to come back from 1st floor aft taking their so called LEMON tea...no need to scold the smoking ppl for spoiling the fresh air.]. Instead of sitting together and teasing each othr or hearing prathi's alltime mokkai or navi's at times mokkai or indira's each time critical task updates. i will jus read my mails from my frns...chat and dwnload movie. Around 11am...itz my time to cook lunch. He comes by 12.15 and have lunch and start by 1.30. After that i ll have my lunch..again no need to put a combined conversation to all cofee gang members and ask them for lunch...no excuses like..."only one mail..."..."have to go to RR"..."which FC? you gals carry on i ll join ..." etc. Eat my lunch all alone watching History channel...then back to laptop....and then watch the downloaded movies. some times i read book. some clean work i ll do. Evening he comes arnd 6. we have coffee and go for tennis. Back by 9.30 and then cook dinner , eat and watch movie. Gosh, the day is over and well spent.

Suddenly i realised that i m the same as those girls in hostel who attened college jus for the sake of getting a degree. Typical wife-life - all gals out - pot lucks - planned trips - unplanned movies - windows shopping [believe me itz true]. What am i doing? Is this what i ever wanted to? SSSSHHHH....no more thinking....m jus enjoying the time i got. Happy with VATHA KUZHAMBU - SUTTA APLAM - AANANTHA VIKATAN.

Yogurt Rice... steamed cake!

It was Tamil New year... just was thinking what i would normally do on this day...er..going to temple... So we planned to visit the temple.. here which is some 30 mins drive from our home. We went to the temple in the evening.It is basically a vishnu temple. It is located out of the city in the mountains of the near by place called Malibu of Santa monica and drive was good. Temple was very neat and calm. Ulla pona vudanne…antha kovil vaasanai varume – mixture of camphor, oil, viboothi etc. I felt like I was in indian temple but still…!.

The temple has been built as per the building norms in US. It was built around 1984. They say itz been built as per chola’s style…some what I cud relate it – the gopuras and prakaras. Irunthaalum I didn’t get tht feel. Well they perform proper poojas and the shrines are I guess made of pancha ulogam. Not sure about this.

I badly wanted cofee. The temple's canteen also didnt ve coffee. so i setttled down for tea and we bought prasadam. He said only thing available was pongal and yoghurt rice combo. I was blinking wht was that yoghurt rice....athaan namma thair saatham thaan US stylea solraaru thalaivar. He is a tamizh guy only...but was speaking in full broken english. I kept on speaking in Tamizh and this guy was answering in english...namakku kadupaaiduchilla...thamizhaye pesunga anna nu solleten. Athuku avar solraaru...niraya peru varaanga athaana naan confuse ayidrennu [ithayum avar englishla sonnaaru paarunga...sema kaandaaiten pesama sirichuttu vanthuten]. Then we went to his frns house. Anga she made filter cofee for us....so it was COFFEE WITH GEETHA. her name :D :D watched a horror movie and i was too tired to cook.

Raj suggested of going to indian resturant. "Flavours of India" nnu ..anga pona,...steamed cake nu oru item..ennadaannu paatha...ada namma idili nga...but we were too hungry so we orded some naan & parathas packed and came back home. veetla vanthu saapitom. epadi nama thamizh puthaandu celebration. So started adjusting to live in this place settling down with indian memories of actual YOGURT RICE AND STEAMED CAKE~!!

I am fine...doctor!

Well i donno may be being in the new environment ...or due to jet lag... or due to lack of rest...i got sick for some days after i landed US. Sharing my first hospital experience in US.

Got fever & cold. So went to doc. ayoo...inga doc's kekra kelvikku bathil solrathukulla.... maru jenma edukanum... comedya iruku but they are really very careful. the tests n stuffs are very fast...first we have to get the appointment...[emergency casekku ilannu ninaikren]

Receptionla oru questionere kku ans panninen. oru 10 qs irukkum; athula vera...married...etc intha maathiryaana info kudukanum. Smokig - Y/N Drinking - Y/N adeenga...yaara paathu enna kelvi kekra nee...nonsense...irunthaalum vera vazhi ilaama..elaathukum porumaiya ans panninen..namakenna choose the best ans elaam puthusa enna...infyla nirya tests clear paneerkomla...pazhasa marakkalaiye...then they took me to a room...roomukulla room maathiri ore kathava irukungren..onnum purialai...pattikaataan mittai kada rangekku...paathukitte ponen...apram namma oosi podrathuku oru benchla padupome athumaathiri oru tabel athula ukkaathi vachaanga oru akka. banthava steth elaam maatikittu asaalta irunthaanga. she also started asking the same q's. Kadi aayitomla...irunthaalum...namakku thaan question paper out ayiduche..so theliva ans paneetom [ithula vera...US accent...etho kuthu mathippa adi chu vitten..YES or NO thaane;)] apram kathukulla enathoyao nuzhachainga... onnum purialai... edutha piragu solraanga... ''mmm..good... no feverrr" adangokkamakka... namma oorla thermametera naaku adeela vachu...atha oru otharu othari.. evalo stylea paathu soluvaanga... nonsense... kaathukudayaratha vachu... kaaichal paakraangappa... enna kodumai kodumai ;) Then she askd us to wait for some time,..apram thaan Raj sonnaru that she was not doctor.... adangopuraane... appo ithu doc illaya...ayayao.... ennada ooru ithu... yaaru doc' yaaru compoundernnu onnum purialai.

Raj was explaining me that procedures will be like this only coz americans will sue even for su-su matternnu. oh oh apdiya matternnu naanum waitees paneetu irunthen. Then came THE DON..sorry THE DOC. Same questions REPEATUU... then he was asking me some other questions... aha ahaa.. enna fastu enna fastu... namma thalaivar Rajini kitta training eduthirupaaro? naan anga thaan kalangi poiten... apram en iniya thamizh kudimagan...athaanga en kanavaraagiya Raj kai koduthu i mean Vaai kuduthu kaapaathinaaru. my official spokesperson anniku avar thaan. naan only smiling.... romba nerama etho pesinaaru...then only i undrstd "nothign to worry, i will give u tblts for cold , this may be jus a viral infection" . ithaanga summary..aanlum manusan romba pesitaaru...apaadi mudichuthu...pharmacy vanthu maathra vaangittu veedu vanthu serthukulaa...ammadi aathadi...pothumada saami nnu aayiduchu.