“You know what, our plan of buying a new house has been postponed due to so and so reason, I m very upset about it.” When my friend mailed me, I replied back “Don’t worry, things will be alright. This is not something that you cannot deal with”. I am a third person here and don’t have the direct impact of the situation. I found it to be a situation that can be easily handled. I even had mailed her some philosophical phenomenon relevant to her situation. Well, for me it is a situation, not to be worried much about but for her it is an obstacle of her future plans. It is like a butterfly effect that would cause tsunami.
I often wonder, what kind of comfort will these words of mine do? I have never considered myself good in comforting. Been in hostel for about 6 years, the concept of sharing is too intense for me. I can listen for hours, silently without interrupting whatever the person is spilling out from the heart. It may be weirdest wish or scariest experience. When people cry, there will be flood of words forming in my mind but never came out. All I could do was jus be there with them, in silence, giving them a space to pour out their grief. It doesn’t mean I had been the strongest gal there. I did share, cry, and blabber to my friends, talked non-stop for hours.
Well, now, I m in kind of situation that I couldn’t shrug my shoulders and try to be happy. I m getting consoling words from Raz & other friends but still, I feel like nothing in the world could comfort me except the situation gets better. This makes me realize, nothing much can the console of others do to make one feel better. Of course, in these times we realize how people care about us. Often we even realize that we had let some of them to judge us, patronize us and try to take control of our emotional state. Sometimes we wouldn’t know the difference whether that was out of care or just to show that they are matured than us.
Most times we do know that the situation we are in is not something unbearable but still we are distressed. It is up to us to come out of it. If we chose not to worry about it, we wouldn’t. But most times we could not do that. There are a category of people who chose not to reveal their emotions. They say they learnt to control their emotions. What is controlling one’s emotion? Being able to control the effect of the situation on them or control enough not to show the effect out to others? I do not know the answer for this, but I m type of person who would show what my state of mind is.
Right now with respect to the situation I am dealing with, my grieving time is over. I am trying to control the effect of this situation causing in me. Well BTW, do you ever found which is causing you the agony? Is it because of the situation itself or because the situation is not what we expected?
I often wonder, what kind of comfort will these words of mine do? I have never considered myself good in comforting. Been in hostel for about 6 years, the concept of sharing is too intense for me. I can listen for hours, silently without interrupting whatever the person is spilling out from the heart. It may be weirdest wish or scariest experience. When people cry, there will be flood of words forming in my mind but never came out. All I could do was jus be there with them, in silence, giving them a space to pour out their grief. It doesn’t mean I had been the strongest gal there. I did share, cry, and blabber to my friends, talked non-stop for hours.
Well, now, I m in kind of situation that I couldn’t shrug my shoulders and try to be happy. I m getting consoling words from Raz & other friends but still, I feel like nothing in the world could comfort me except the situation gets better. This makes me realize, nothing much can the console of others do to make one feel better. Of course, in these times we realize how people care about us. Often we even realize that we had let some of them to judge us, patronize us and try to take control of our emotional state. Sometimes we wouldn’t know the difference whether that was out of care or just to show that they are matured than us.
Most times we do know that the situation we are in is not something unbearable but still we are distressed. It is up to us to come out of it. If we chose not to worry about it, we wouldn’t. But most times we could not do that. There are a category of people who chose not to reveal their emotions. They say they learnt to control their emotions. What is controlling one’s emotion? Being able to control the effect of the situation on them or control enough not to show the effect out to others? I do not know the answer for this, but I m type of person who would show what my state of mind is.
Right now with respect to the situation I am dealing with, my grieving time is over. I am trying to control the effect of this situation causing in me. Well BTW, do you ever found which is causing you the agony? Is it because of the situation itself or because the situation is not what we expected?
3 comments:
dear vani,
that was really impressive. should be thought about. but i think consoling word soothe u for a moment but it is u who can actually come out of it. nice one ,to be apprecited.
I say its only because things doesn't happen like what we expect... "Ithuvum kandanthu pohum" nu think pannuna nothing is there to worry...
Only time will answer your situation... Worrying about your situation is not going to help you in any way. It is just creating lot of other situations(stress, tension and worry etc etc..) for you.
So I am not asking you to not to show the effect out to others, but atleast don't show the effect to yourself. If possible try to find a solution to your situation.... Otherwise think about lot of other people who are in most difficult situations than you and realize that you are a very happy person and god has given you lot of things which he didn't give to many of the people on this world.
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