Once in a while...

It was a cool morning, with gentle breeze brushing my face as I was walking towards my office entrance. In distance, I saw someone wearing an orange dupatta and it was flying along with the wind. Suddenly I remembered the heroine of Ramanichandran’s novels. Often the introduction scenes of heroines were described in the same way. I used to say these were crap novels copied from English M&B’s publications. But I still admit that those were written with a distinct Tamil touch in them. Not for the story but for the characters, I loved to read those books. Always heroines were multi-talented, strong headed but would be stupid enough to distrust only the hero. I always thought how influential these characters were in any gal’s life and thoughts. Whatz in it that was so attractive in those fictional characters? I often thought would there be any such talented gal existing or behaving in such a way for real?

When thinking about the introduction scenes, there was one particular scene I always remember. It is a river bank with green grass and wild flowers. The heroine goes for a walking wearing yellow sari and she stands near the bank admiring the beauty of Blue River, green grass and colorful flowers. She plucks a flower and wears it in her hair [well how do they say in English???] then she lays over the grass enjoying the evening sky and the narration goes that way. [That inspired me to buy a yellow sari later once I started earning]. I love to enjoy time alone with green nature and I love evenings. I always found evenings to be very peaceful - a time to shed all my day’s burdens so that I can have a peaceful sleep. So may be this is the reason why I remember this description. I wished that one day I could spend an evening like that. When the flow & imagination is such a melody, I couldn’t stop myself reasoning; whether the bank of river would be that neat & dry for a gal to lie down? hee…hee…

But still it is good to enjoy small things in life. I remember saying to my best friend that I would love to live in a hill station [Ooty was the only place I could think of those days]. In the evenings I should sit in the garden, sipping the tea, wearing the sweater and reading those novels. Seriously? Would I be able to do that now? I meant, would it be possible to do that everyday? I don’t think so but again it would be fun if I could do it some times. It is always nice to enjoy such small things once in a while…

Owner's Pride

Yet another one about the Car.
For a person who hardly rode in a car [well…excluding the cabs from office], having a pre-owned car was a great thing. Though it was just a machine, I had an attachment towards the car with which I learnt to drive and overcame my travel sickness. And it was hard for me to let go.
Well, after that car was totaled, there was a discussion about the next car. I have no idea about these stuffs; all I cared about is CD player & adjustable seat which were missing in our first car. As usual Raaz did the research and I monitored it ;). Then we decided to buy a hybrid one as Raaz has to travel almost 75 miles every day. Once the model & make was decided, we had to decide upon the color. We wished the model could have a burgundy color, but it didn’t. So we had to settle for red [no not the Ferrari red].
Then started the deal hunt! The first day, we had a very bad customer interaction experience and we were angry & irritated. So we decided to stop the search for the day. Next day our spirits rose as we got so many calls from the dealers’ shop about the rates etc. So then we again set our feet out in search of car. Sunday we were very sure of what we wanted, how to ask & how to deal. So when we went to this particular dealer shop, we gave our quotes and said we wont didn’t want to bargain on our quote, which would be our final decision. So once the price was kind of settled, he brought the car. It was the red one and we loved it immediately. It didn’t take too much of time for us to get the keys.
Unfortunately I couldn’t ride on it for the first time; But Raaz took me for a ride later that day. I was too proud and admiring each and every inch of the car. Enjoying the new car smell, we couldn’t even think about opening the window [so that the new car fragrance will last for a whileJ]. I haven’t driven it much but I found myself getting excited every time I ride in our car. May be that is not unusual to look around other cars to compare ours in every parking lot but the first time in my life I got the feeling of “Owner’s Pride”. Every thing seemed to be so new for me. Speaking of excitement, the most interesting part is that finally I was able to listen to CD collections.
Almost every Sunday we go for an escaping ride through the most time deserted streets, listening to melodies or just chit chatting with Raaz, enjoying the breeze, silent humming of our car… Sometimes I get a chance to drive alone...with moon over to watch me driving, Raja's music at a near silent volume to accompany me...But yeah, this excitement won't last for ever, but I wouldn’t want to miss it. I sure understand that nothing will be new for a long time but still life goes on…with new days & new things until the day my life ceases to exist!!!

Driving - The Aftermath

This is a continuation of my blog about driving attempts :) . I have seen movies with chasing and following scenes. Never in my life had I thought that I might be doing that. Yes, after determining to find the exact test route for my driving test, suddenly the idea hit us. Why don’t we follow some one whoz taking the actual test. I think it was the time all angels were sleeping :). So we went to the office the morning before my test schedule. We parked in the near by street corner waiting for some one to drove out of the office for test. I was both thrilled and scared and Raaz was cool about it [nirya chase panni irupaaro ? ;)].
Then a car came out and we started following it. It hit the main road and within a minute it pulled over - so a part of test. I was telling Raaz, "OMG, here they test this pull over in the main road?” We didn’t pull over immediately but we continued to ride and after few feet we pulled over and were waiting for the test car to pass us. [How many movies we had watched... : D :D]. Then after 2 minutes the car crossed us and we again followed it. But within 2 minutes, it pulled over again. I got scared thinking that test was gonna be tough because they are pulling over twice, may be the test wont be that easy etc. Again we repeated the same act. That test car started again, we started our engine and waiting for the car to pass us. But this time, the car didn’t pass us, instead, it came near us and the instructor told us "Don’t follow the route". Now you just imagine my condition. I was almost fainted. Raaz took it easy [ulla tension aayirupaaru...]. He said "Sorry, we won’t do that again".
From that point I totally lost my confidence that I would ever pass. I got lots of questions. What if he remembers me well? What if he noted down our car number and complained? What if the authority comes & gives us warning or ticket? etc. That day was a hell to me. Evening when Raaz took me for a test drive to that office again, I was in full tension. After seeing the way I drove, Raaz suggested to go home then.
The morning came and I was having all sorts of imaginations. Ours was the first appointment for the test. We went early & stood in the queue. As soon the office opened, we completed the basic formalities and were searching for the instructor. By the time we saw where we supposed to go, there are already two other cars in front of us for taking the test. I was very upset because we wasted time. But I have to say that the delay was for good. Because the instructor who went with the first car was the same one who caught us red handed the previous day. I escaped.
Finally my turn came. Test started with the usual protocols which I was very familiar. Once we hit the road, I started relaxing and this time it went very smooth. For all the efforts I took to remember almost every rule for driving, I know I would pass as soon as I did lane change and rode perfectly. [I even left my hair without knot, so tht the instructor can see that I m moving head for navigating the road ;). ithu epdi iruku]. So the test went on for 20 minutes and finally I passed with flying colors. I was very happy and Raaz treated me with American breakfast [onnum ileenga...kaancha bun num, vennaiyum + coffee :)]. So I was very excited the whole, couldn’t wait to tell my brother that I passed. Aaatha naan paasaaiten :) .
From then everything became an experience to me. When I took my car to drive alone; when I rode first time in free way;when I rode first time in rain. Long drives at nights, long drives on a snowy road [patches only], taking my in-laws in the car etc. I thought the excitement will be over within a day but everyday is a new experience for me. I remember once my colleague BN said it would be lovely to drive a car in a cloudy evening. That time I thought, how could one enjoy when driving with concentration? But then once when I started driving, I realized how true it was. And the journey is going on and on with more experiences in store...

Driving - The Attempt

This is a continuation of my previous blog
Well, after many trial drives, Raaz decided to book an appointment for my driving test. I wasn't that sure about taking this test but Raaz was telling me not to think about the result but the test. Like the trial drives, it was a trial test. [click aachunna ok ;)]. I went for the testing through driving school. When went to the place an hour before and he made me to drive along the testing route. To be frank i was not at all confident. There were too many things to remember like u need to navigate the road every now & then, u need to look at the mirrors before stopping or starting the car at signal, look for pedestrians etc. The driving teacher was actually scaring me and more over as i was so used to our car, i was not at all comfortable with the teacher's car. The car jerked hardly every time i hit the breaks... and i couldnt get the intensity of the accelerator... but some how i was able to drive in control.
Finally my turn came. The examiner was not even smiling [may be part of their job]. As part of protocol, he was asking me certain questions and i was answering promptly [athelaam correcta soleeduvomla...evalo training athuku :)]. Then we hit the road everything seemed to go fine until he asked me to pullover & park. Well u know, that was the one perfect thing i learned when i practice with Raaz. Then he asked me drive again. Everything was going fine... i navigated the road, put the indicator and when i was driving forward, dunno from where it came, another car came & before i hit the brake, the examiner hit the other break[they generally have 2 breaks for such cars] and it was that moment i realized that i lost the chance of passing. It was a critical mistake and i don't remember what happened after that. I came to my sense only when he was explaining why i was failed. Well, i spoke with Raaz immediately and as a normal reaction - i was trying to put all the blame on the other car...[ippo kooda i don't from where it came :)]. Raaz was cool about it because he anticipated it. well it was a bad experience and lesson well learned.
After this i decided two things, first was that i should practice more and make use of the maximum time limit of learner's permit . Second was to take the test in our car rather than going for a driving school vehicle.
It took me some days to drive again with confidence. In the mean while we shifted our house to a new area & i gotta job immediately. Now with one car it was hard for us to manage but luckily both of our offices were near & so every day Raaz dropped & picked me from office. It was a very good chance that i continued my driving practice and yeah, of course along with the usual scoldings & fighting. ;). After 2 months of such practice, Raaz was so confident that he used to sleep in the passenger seat while i was driving and that helped me to concentrate more on following the test protocols rather than answering to "y did u go that way...y didn't u follow this rule..." type of q's ;). Raaz one fine day gave me green signal that i can take the driving test.[ he later told me that he was not sure whether i would pass :)]. The area, the driving test office everything was new to us. We didn't know how strict the officers will be, what was the pass rate, the traffic at the time of test etc. But still, we blocked the date for test. This time we were very keen in booking the time when the road might be with less traffic. Heavy traffic most time leads to more mistakes.
Now with the date booked, i wanted to drive in the test route to get familiar with. But unfortunately we both didnt know the route of testing. We went to the office one sunday and drove around the area with certain assumptions about the route...basically we tried many probabilities across the roads for route. Still i was not satisfied and i was asking raaz whether there was any other way to find the route. The thoughts & incidents following this discussion were something which we both will never forget in our lives.

Window Seat...

To my memory, I have never been a demanding child. Never asked much or desired much from my parents. I was grateful with what I was given. But still if I did want something, I would make sure that I got that. This often happens with many of my friends since my school days. I used to be very proud of what I was, and very confident with the relationship I had with them. Sometimes they said that I was too rude and frank enough to hurt them.
In spite of all these things, I had loads of friends who loved me as I was. I am not sure whether I should say that I m lucky to have such good people who loved me and cared for me or to blame them as they never bothered to let me know the other side , I mean the giving side. Not jus friends, but even my brother, sister and now my Raaz. Most times, it was my sister whom I have hurt a lot but still she loves me whole heartily. After so many years now I realize how blind I had been, how I took things for granted. And of course I do realize how happy it is to be on the giving end and see the relationship getting nourished by being so.
I would say relationship is all about giving and receiving, not necessarily that from the same place we give, we will receive. I love traveling by window seat, and I never ever given that space to anyone. Sometimes many occasions in my life are too like sitting at the window seat and letting the wind blow on my face and I just love it. But now I realize how happy it is to let someone whom I really care for to take that space and enjoy. Though I realize this a bit late, I still owe a lifetime to all those lovely souls that have traveled with me sacrificing the window seat for me!!!

Driving… The Learning

“Daddy, please hold on, don’t leave in the middle” – This was the first sentence I spoke out of fear when my dad asked me to ride on a small customized bicycle. I remember he never let it go for that whole time. Slowly then I started riding with out his help…well it was on my 3^rd grade I suppose.

After coming to USA, getting license is kinda part of life. And here they are very strict in following the rules. [naanga romba strictu…]. Raz said that I had to give a written exam and only if I cleared that I could start learning. Choose the best answers thane namakelaam alwa saapdra maathiri illa. I said, okay get me the syllabus. He brought me a print out in the size of my pillow. Well now u will know the story, I slept over it every day. Then some of my experienced girl friends here suggested me to start looking into old question papers [vaazhakai fulla athaane panninom]…they sent me some 10 question papers. Elaathayum padichu theethomla…before the exam day, I can answer to any question asked from those. So finally the day came & we went to give the exam. There was a queue for that.. And I was remembering the exam halls and students with hall tickets. Then finally I gotta seat, they gave me the question paper…and I am supposed to finish it in some 15 – 20 minutes. I was reading the question paper again & again..paavi pasanga…oru 3 kelvi mattum pazhaya question paperla irunthu kuduthirukaanga…or may be I didn’t get tht q copy before. Namma sittrarivai use panni epdi elaa question kum answer kandupidichu tick paneetom. But then I saw many where like ticking..rechecking…and I lost my patience…as usual…went & gave the ans paper…the lady didn’t even see the questions but jus answers…correct correct wrong correct correct … I was amazed at her speed of correction [there is no speeding ticket for this?] well finally pass paneetomla. Then we went to the counter, they said I need an SSN to get an id. When we contacted the SSN office they said I was not eligible to get one until October. Ada paaveengala maathi maathi thorathreengale… then I had to wait for some 2 months before I could get a learner’s permit [athaanga namma LLR.] Nonsense yaarkitta kaathu kuthraanga…namma oorla elaam 1 hour la LLR kuduthuduvaanga…mmm antha luxury elaam in tha oorla ethir parka mudiyuma?

Then finally October came & so did my learner’s permit. Nothing it was just a paper with my black & white photo’s copy on it. Ithuku thaan ivalo aarpattam. Ennatha solla. I felt a great relief when I got that without knowing that my future was laughing at me sarcastically. As every wife, faithfully I prepared myself to learn driving from my husband. And as every husband, faithfully he prepared to get irritated while teaching me [hello enna ungaluku apdi illaya…well exceptions are not examplesJ].

Then one fine evening, Raz took me to a near by park and let me to sit on the driving side for the first time. Antha saami, intha saami, kandasaami elaathayum vendikittu, wheela thotten. naanum methuvaa accelerator azhuthren no way car was moving… Paavi makka, oru saamiyum sollalai gear should be in driving mode nu J. Raz first took it easy and told me the mistake very patiently [aiiii en kanavar nallavar nu nichukitten]. And he let me drive directly on the main road [aavvvvv…], my only goal was to hold the wheel properly. I told him, the car is always sliding towards my right side nu. It was almost dark, and all cars coming in good speed from opposite direction. Namakku pagalaye pasumaadu theriaathu..irutla eruma maata thedunna…apdi thaanga namma kathaiyum aagi pochu anniku. Oru vazhiya thattu thadumaari thirumba park ku vanthu senthom. Well I don’t need to say how many scolding would I have got before I parked that car. I missed my daddy that time J nainaa pakkodaaaa…

From then onwards Raz was very cautious that he never let me drove on the main roads, enna irunthaalum uyir bayamnu onnu irukumla. Then I slowly started driving in the residential areas when the entire street was empty. One biggest hurdle was my memory; if stayed out for more time, I would even forget my way back to home. I have such a great memory, so I always forgot the right turns & left turns and I get left & right from Raz. There was not even single drive without him shouting and I getting angry. Those times I used feel like why the heck should I learn this stupid stuff J . We then decided it is not going to work out, so I took lesson from a professional driving teacher. But still not much improvement. One thing was for sure, I know how to pull over the car & park it along the curb – because I do that every time Raz scoled me. I will pull over, get down & start walking. Poor Raz, he would come & pick me up and the history repeats. I was not able to drive the car without any feat. It was partially because of the road & partially because of Raz.

After few days, I started taking lessons from our friend TG. The best teacher I would say J he was patient enough. [mmm..should ask his wife though J]. The first thing he taught me was how to put sudden break J He must feel safe before he ride with me :D. First day, the drive was smooth and he even made me to drive in the main streets. I was so happy that I could drive without fear. Finally the day’s lesson got over & he told me to park near the curb. Nalla thaanga poittu irunthuchu…when I turned for parking, he asked me to slow down…enna nenappo therialai I stepped on accelerator, the next second I saw our car moving towards the neighbor’s fence. I immediately stepped on the break & brought the car to the halt few inches before the fence. Thappichathu thambiraan punniamnu , my guru was smiling. [ulla nadungi irupaaro?]. But then it was only on the first day, later on I began to drive well. He said he would teach me parallel parking soon. But before that he left to India for vacation. But since driving test here doesn’t include parallel parking, Raz said he would book for driving test appointment. Bayathula thala nadunga, atha avar naan ok nu solrennu ninachu book paneetaaru :D.

We arranged a driving school to take me for the driving test. The night before Raz took me for a test drive. Well, should I need to describe…we were jus driving around 4 streets in square fashion but all I could remember was I was holding the steering too tight as if I was taking the test then? That time I thought I wouldn’t be that fearful even for the real test. Finally Raz fed up & we returned home. I remember very well that night. I went to bed wishing the day could dawn soon. The D day finally dawned…

Long Weekend…

Almost all Friday nights spent in poker and all Saturdays spent in sleep, it is the Sunday that always needs some attention from us. We got this idea of inviting families for Sunday lunch. Aye, once in a while Raz needs better food. Me & Raz has one thing in common for sure, we both like being with people. We enjoy almost all our Sundays with any one of our friends’ family here.
After coming to US, there was only one long weekend that we spent all alone at home instead of roaming around. I feared, this year’s Labor Day weekend might also end up like that. Then our gang decided to have a pot luck combining a long term girl’s only outing. That Friday I was sitting in the office with Raz left early because of early closure, thinking about the menu for the next day potluck, Raz called me and said that he was booking tickets for Catalina Island. Though we were talking about this trip, it never came alive. But Raz managed to search out and booked a package for travel & stay.
This Catalina Island sits in the Pacific Ocean aprox 22 miles from Los Angeles. It is a very small rocky island with three cities across 20 miles.
Sunday we packed & left the house around 12.30 after noon. Reached the shore very early so that we can get the boarding pass for the ferry we would be taking for island. No much procedures, no crowd at all. Then we boarded the ferry around 1.45 pm. We chose to sit inside – covered area. The ferry started around 2.00pm. Then we left our place and came upstairs to the open area, where we see the vast bluish green ocean and our ferry leaving a white trail on it. The air, the sky & the sea it was a fantastic view to start the journey with. I enjoyed the chillness of the air and people around. Then with few snaps we returned to our seat. Inside it was warm & calm…when you look through the window, all u can see is the vast blue ocean & nothing that you could hear –itz laughter or roar. Most of the times, in lives we are like that, we live in a comfortable cocoon and look the world thru that layer.
It was an hour journey where we both slept in last 20 minutes. I liked the island immediately. It was crowded but still I felt like we have our own space there. A van came to pick us up to the hotel. The travel was not more than 10 minutes. In the short gap, we could notice there are very few streets out there & the beach is very small. The houses are built over the hills & the hotel we were about to stay has the same structure with its different floors built at different levels of the hill. We reached the room & Raj wanted to sleep for a while. I was watching TV the whole time & finally managed to sleep for 20 minutes. Then Raj woke me up, we got ready and went out.
We realized that we can roam this part of city by walk & no need to look for car or taxi. I learnt later that cars are restricted here & need special permission to ‘import’ the cars & there is a 10 year waiting list. Instead, here the people use Golf carts or bicycle to commute and which I found amusing… seeing people in that small cart roaming around.
We had some snacks & coffee for the evening & started walking down the street. There were lots of boutiques, bakeries, fine arts stores & of course restaurants. While we walked, we decided what to do for the next day.
Generally I love walking and which we hardly do in LA. So I felt so good & refreshed by walking with Raz. And we were chatting the whole time about various things which was another wonderful thing that happened that day.
Slowly the evening passed by & the night came into duty. We noticed that the streets were so silent that early. Suddenly we saw the yellow moon glowing in darkness & I was very excited to see the moon. Raj started asking too many scientific questions, just to pull my legs. OMG…what happened to this guy J
We continued along the pathway towards a circular building which was called as Via Casino. Raj was all bright & happy as we were nearing his favorite spot. Only when we reached there, to Raj’s big disappointment, it was named as casino but not actually a gambling place. Should I say about my excitement now & his disappointment? Well I have captured that moment in our cameras: D. It had a theater, ballroom & some museum. As it was too late, it was closed for visitors. Then we had some one hour of time before we go for our dinner [as planned]. We were sitting on the bench, watching people, boats & the ocean. I saw so many stars after a long time which reminded me of my native place. It has been really a long time since I saw so many stars J
How much polluted gas that it would take to hide the entire sky view?
After some 30 minutes passed in observing the stars, moon & itz reflection on the ocean…slowly we became restless. Is it that we got bored of sitting there doing nothing but looking around? Suddenly I remembered one of my hostel mate…she always said that she loved to be left alone. She would stay away from people and content with her books or drawings. Now suddenly I don’t know why I remembered her… would she survive if left alone but with no books or canvas? Well back to track, we got used to be entertained with tv, net or with get to gathers, and this time of being calm without any other entertainment but nature was making us restless. But then I would say, it was a great experience. Spending time with Raz…without any other external occupant in his mind… J , jus sitting by the shore, gentle breeze, we discussed a lot…from amoeba to Arnold . Raz normally doesn’t like going for walking but this time he actually enjoyed it and of course no need to ask me. Then slowly we started to walk again to get dinner. We went to a Chinese restaurant got it packed & started back to our room. We were supposed to climb few stairs [!] to reach our room. We were jus talking and climbing and the steps were like as if they reach heaven… finally we realized that we had not come in the correct way. After climbing all the way up and then changing the route…well that made us very tired. May be it was a good exercise for us. Finally we reached our room, had dinner, watched TV for a while and then slept off.
Morning we were supposed to check out the room, so we got ready, had breakfast there & checked out the hotel. Then we started roaming again. We booked for parasailing for which we had some 4.5 hours of time. So we thought we should try some other activity in the mean while. So we decided to go for kayaking. It was the first time for both of us. The requirement is that we should know swimming. Well, mm. yeah I said that I knew swimming, very confidently. If I could swim in 8 feet might be I could manage few more extra feet J . Then they took us to the small boat gave us the row and I sat in the front with raz behind me. The guy gave us the basic information like how to move the boat forward, backward or turn sides. Then we started our short voyage. We jus went forward backward within the small area. We enjoyed a lot with Raz being the navigator; he would say “Let us go forward a bit fast”. I would sincerely row to the front, still the boat won’t even move an inch…I requested Raz to put in some more effort and he said that he was. Finally I gave up & turned back, I did see him rowing in the opposite direction & the boat neither went forward nor backward. Was he playing with me all the time? Arrrrrrr.
After this exhausting activity, we then decided to rent a bike to roam around the city. We took the one with two seats and this time I took the back seat. We again rode through the streets and to other places which we had not covered by walking. After that we again had 2 hours for parasailing. We sat under a tree shade, watching the birds, the people and the activities happening in the ocean. Then we went to parasailing. I had no idea about the experience i would get out of that. There were some other families too in the boat. Though it was not thrilling but it was wonderful to view the ocean & the city from 600 feet. We stayed there for may be 5-8 minutes and then they brought us down. And that was our last activity in Catalina Island. We went back to shore and grabbed something to eat…and we had some 1 hour or so for return ferry. We leisurely walked towards the boarding area, talking and laughing a lot. Finally it was time to leave the place and go back to home. We reached home in next 2 hours and were damn tired.
The best outing I had with Raz so far. People say that there is nothing much to see or do in the place. But every time when we go out, there might be too much of areas we would require to cover and we always do them in hurry. And I think about those trips later, apart from the fun we had with the people, there was nothing much to remember. But this time, it was entirely different. We had time to enjoy each and everything at our own pace. No need to rush up for anything and had ample time to enjoy being with each other. I am trying to freeze those moments in my memory stack. It was fun...leisure & romantic too. :) I would not know when we will be having such a time again. Well no body can take bath in the same river twice [Osho].